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  • Writer's pictureRay Chen

Lessons from Grief

Grief…we’ve all been through it one way or another. Even if you’ve never lost someone dear, you’ve still experienced grief. You see, through any loss, whether that’s a relationship, job, or money; these are all examples of grief.


My world was shaken when I experienced a loss of my own.


My grandma was a larger than life figure in my world. The elder of the household. The emotional leader. The spiritual leader. She was a second mum to me, having lived with me nearly my whole life.

So when she passed, her death unveiled emotions in me that were indescribable.


The grief I felt in the days after her passing was incredibly intense. Grief reminds us of the fragility of life, it breaks down the life we knew. Within the space of days to weeks, I began to question life, meaning, and purpose. It kick-started a personal journey of searching for meaning. And for that, I am eternally grateful.


When we are faced with death/grief, we can either respond with fear and resistance, or we can overcome and grow.

Grief can be a beautiful reminder not to take life for granted, and to show gratitude and respect for the honour of life. For example, when you lose a job, it may be a sign to show gratitude for having had that job in the first place and open up to new possibilities that may be coming your way.


Regardless of whether you are religious, spiritual, or not, I’m sure you can agree life is a miracle.


Whilst the life of my grandma taught me so many things, I never expected to take away so many lessons from her loss. I learnt to appreciate the moments that I had day to day rather than being stuck in my own mind. I also learned to build resilience and courage to face further adversity.

Little did I know how timely these life lessons were.

Just 6 months after my gran passed I went through a life-changing accident. I was just coming out of the daily grief of the loss of my gran, but I had to quickly transition into grieving for myself in a way. That transition somehow felt easier because I had just gone through the grieving process.


I can honestly say, it was the lessons that I learned through the grieving process that helped me deal with the mental and physical toll of my accident. In the face of death, the loss of function in my arm did not seem so difficult to overcome.


Grief had helped me grow emotionally and spiritually so that I was better equipped to deal with the ups and downs that life had in store. The person I was before grief may have not been able to deal with the loss so well. The person that walked out from the ashes of grief was much more mature, more sure of themselves, more reflective and purpose-driven, and more grateful for the wonder of life. Thanks to death, there was a rebirth.


So no matter what losses you face in life, know that there is a silver lining. As difficult as loss can be, I realise they have made me a better person. I believe it is through times of darkness that we truly evolve and grow as human beings.


I know that going through these difficulties can seem impossible at the time, but I hope through my story you can see there is light that shines after the dark. You can see that it’s possible to come out the other side. Stronger and more resilient than ever.

If you are going through grief and finding it extremely difficult, please do not hesitate to contact me at connect@raychenzen.com. Overcoming grief with direction and purpose can truly change your life.




Warm regards,




Ray






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